Monday, June 29, 2009

Crazy Asian Men.

Today. Today I was sitting inside because of the heat, waiting for my class. I prefer to sit outside, but it was just so damn hot. So today, I'm sitting here, across from the theatre space at school, waiting for my class that's in the basement of the theatre. 

So. I'm sitting there, reading. Then, this Asian man walks by and smiles at me, so, of course, I smile back politely. Then, another Asian man smiles at me. Again, I politely smile back. And then he comes over to me.

'Do you have the love of God in your life?' asks the Asian man. Except, his English isn't very good.

'Yes. Thanks. I do.' I lie. I want him to go away. I do not want to be saved today. Thanks.

'Are you Christian?' he asks.


'When were you converted?' Seriously dude? Wasn't yes enough for you?

'I was raised in the Lutheran church.' 

Then, he keeps going. I'm not going to bore you. My problem is, I don't want to be rude. I don't. Really. It's his thing and it can stay that way, but after a point, I told him I had to leave for class, which wasn't a lie.

This whole thing really upset me. I think it's mainly because I feel violated. 

My school is non-secular. No religion at all. I'm a spiritual person - I was raised Lutheran, but I most organized religion is full of crap. And this isn't about their faith - to each his own. Everyone has their own thing - that's great, enjoy it. But I feel like this man violated my person beliefs as well as my personal space and time. 

As I said, we're not a secular school, so I don't know why these guys were even there. I had seen them walking around earlier while I was at work, but hadn't paid any attention to them.

I don't know. I don't like being bombarded about my beliefs and I don't do it to others. It's different to have a conversation with a friend or whatever and discuss and compare, but this was really out of line. This was an accusation and condemnation. I don't know if he wanted to 'save' me or felt that all college students are heathens. Honestly, I don't care. It's over with.

But like I said, I still feel violated and hurt. I feel like, as long as you're not hurting anyone else, practice and believe in what you want. But he did hurt me - so it's not okay anymore. He invaded my world and tried to make me feel bad about what I believe (which I do not demonstrate in the outlined conversation, but happened as the conversation went on). 

Believe what you will, but don't force in on anyone, especially me. 

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Little Bit of Bragging Is A-Okay!

Yesterday (last night??) was me and Bill's three year anniversary, so he took me on the Spirit of Philadelphia. It's a dinner cruise down the Delaware River and it's nice. We get there, and he had a dozen roses at our table and a bottle of champagne. It was a really nice evening. 

I was good too, I didn't overeat. It was my first experience with a buffet post-surgery and I was a little nervous. But I was good. All the champagne I had, however, probably wasn't the best idea - but hey, it's a special occasion. 

I love that in that photo you can see the Philly skyline. It really sets the whole mood.

And there's me feeling HOT in my dress. I tried this dress on as a joke when my Mom and I were in Ross. I couldn't not buy it after how good it looked and how great I felt in it. It helped that it was only 20 bucks.

Anyway. I just felt obligated to share my photos - mainly because I felt so good in that damn dress and I had such a nice time. We danced our little hearts out too - and Bill doesn't normally dance, but it was a really good time.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

If The Shirt Fits

Today was a big day for me. Not only am I down where I was before vacation (which is awesome in and of itself, and was much easier than I expected) but today, I went shopping.

I went out with the goal of going to Torrid. I had a coupon and they had their 50 percent off clearance deal going on. Mom and I got there and stopped in Lane Bryant. I bought a shirt that I had thought about months ago and was now only 10 bucks (AND a smaller size). 

We're walking past Jones New York and I look in the window at a shirt and tell my Mom how I can't wait to be able to go in there and buy that shirt. It's so cute and I just wish I could shop there. We end up going in, because they're having an awesome sale and my Mom needs stuff. So, we're looking for her and I thought to myself "I wonder if this tank top would fit me?"

So I try it on. 


Then, having forgot about the shirt in the window, I'm wandering around and looking for more shirts to try on. 

And I see it. Right there. The shirt. And I grab it. Try it on. ANNNNNNDDDDD IT FITS TOO! It's not a perfect fit, but it fit. (Pardon how terrible the picture is - my Mom isn't good with the camera.)

I can't explain how I felt. This is the first time in a long while where I haven't had to shop in plus size specialty stores or in the women's department. It was an amazing feeling. I just couldn't believe it. 

Best part? I didn't buy anything at Torrid. 

Here's to getting smaller! - And noticeably smaller! Right now, size 20 pants are big on me and 18's are snug. When I started this, I was bursting out of my size 22 pants.

I'm really proud of myself right now. I feel good.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Challenges of Vacation

So, vacation is a killer. However, even after eating complete and total crap for a week, I only gained a pound. I'm pretty happy with that. And honestly, I really wasn't trying too hard to make sure I didn't eat crap. I wanted to enjoy myself.

And? I really enjoyed vacation. We did a lot - and walked a lot, so I really think that helped. 

The shore was really nice. The weather wasn't great, but we did a lot. Atlantic City, Cape May, the Wildwood boardwalk. Lots of stuff. It's nice, because I finally feel like I look good. I feel good. And it just keeps getting better.

In the parking lot of the Taj Mahal.

Chicago was great too. Saw the Sears Tower (while it still IS the Sears Tower), went to Millennium Park, went to the John Hancock building and saw the Harry Potter Exhibition. Got to spend time with my cousins and Aunt Mary. The weather at night was terrible - really horrible thunder storms, but during the day, it was humid but sunny enough.

Ali and myself in a random Chicago church garden.

Worst part of Chicago was - well, there were two worst parts. Worst thing about Chicago is the traffic. It's terrible - I've never seen it like that before and at all hours of the day. The worst part of my personal trip was, on Saturday night, we went to dinner at Chili's. I had a margarita and, for my meal, I ordered a half of a turkey sandwich and a side salad. So, I eat some of the side salad, a little bit of the sandwich with bread, and then take the meat off of the bread and eat just that. And then, I had another margarita, which was a bad idea. It wasn't the liquor, it was the sheer volume of liquid I was trying to consume. And it was a really, really bad choice. I got so sick - I had to throw up in the bathroom to make things better. It just wouldn't go down. And it was all my own fault. Live and learn, right? I thought I was making better choices but I guess I should have gone without the second drink. Either way, Bill finished the drink for me, so I didn't feel bad about ordering it.

I'm happy with my progress right now. I do, however, need to really buckle down and set up a better plan. 

Looking at pictures makes me feel good now - I can see the weight loss. I've still got a lot to go, but it's not nearly as bad as it was before.

OH! And so, I was at the hairdresser with my Mom the other day. I go because I get bored and have nothing better to do. The hairdresser is a friend of ours and so it's always entertaining. But anyway, the girl who works there, she was asking how I was doing with my band and everything (she's really sweet) and I told her. And Leslie, my Mom's hairdresser's sister, asks how much I have to lose. I told her - I have another 95 to 100 pounds to loose. Her mouth dropped. She then asked, if I didn't mind, how much do I weigh. I don't care who knows - I told her, 253, as of that morning. She was shocked that I weighed that much. It really made me feel good to know that I look better than I could. 

I feel good. I'm looking better. The loss is very noticeable now. I can't wait to get to the end of this journey. I really can't. 

Friday, June 12, 2009

It's Been Put Into Perspective

So, I should probably eat something. I'm not super hungry, but considering it's 2:30 and I haven't had anything yet, I probably should.

253 feels good. Officially just 253. That's 36.7 pounds - gone forever

It was a funny feeling. On Monday, I went bowling with my friend Kate and her little sister, Lisa. Lisa is Miss Athlete of the Year and was bowling with a 12 pound ball, which I don't even want to lift. After I had picked it up, I realized that I had been carrying THREE of those around. It's a really good feeling when you can put things into perspective. I can't wait to be able to say I've lost a 5th grader with a book bag. My professor tells me that all the time - when he'd lost a significant amount, his friend told him he'd lost a 5th grader with a book bag. That's what I want.

This coming week will be a challenge for me. Vacation. I had practice with a mini trip over Memorial Day, and somehow, even though I wasn't good about what I ate, I still lost. But this trip will be more challenging. Sunday through Wednesday we're going down the shore. And the problem? I love boardwalk food. I mean, who doesn't? Fried anything. And everything's fried. And it's amazing. We're camping though, so we're going to do some of our own cooking, but it's still tempting. I just have to make sure I keep active while we're away. Nothing will be as bad as the cruise, where it's basically eat-yourself-until-you're-sick everyday. 

Chicago might be a challenge, I'm not sure yet. I think it'll be easy compared to going down the shore. 

Either way, I'm excited. We've got a lot planned for both places and I have a feeling we're going to have a great time.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Another Little Goal

So, I've hit a milestone. I'm no longer able to be considered morbidly obese. I've gotten below the 40 BMI range. I'm at 39.72 BMI, which is being down 36.2 pounds. I'm really proud of myself. There's been a lot of food-oriented family stuff over the past few weeks. I was away for Memorial Day weekend and there have been graduation parties and stuff like that, so I'm doing pretty well with staying on track. 

The only problem I've been having is that, well, my hair is falling out. I'm worried that I'm not getting enough protein in my diet. But I'm going to the doctor tonight, so that's a good thing. I need blood work done anyway, my thyroid has been out of whack lately. Oh well. We'll find out tonight. 

Either way, my nose hasn't stopped running for the past two weeks. Need to deal with that before next week. Bill and I are going down the shore and then flying out to Chicago. I'm pretty excited.